to move up and down
now the one you once loved is leaving
jess|sixteen|new york native|mooresville,nc
Brianna Bickett
damn where do i even start? i wanted to thank you for being such an amazing friend to me. for putting up with my immaturity, for helping me out constantly. i’m so happy that we became friends because you’re the perfect best friend. i trust you with everything and you keep me in line. you always know how to make me crack up or cheer up and you give the best advice. thank you babygirl i love you.
love is not for me i promise.
i’m sitting here bawling my eyes out completely. everyday is getting harder and harder. it’s been a month since i last saw you and it feels like a lifetime.
there was once happiness. and it was with you. what we had was some shitty times but for the most part they were amazing. i miss being by your side so much. it’s so hard to go to sleep at night because all i think about is everything we once had. why did you have to leave me for california? why? you knew it was going to hurt me more than anything. i told you it would. i didn’t stop you because i wanted you to be happy but look i’m still sitting here crying everyday because of it. it’s exactly a month since i last saw you.. where did the time go? where did us being happy go? where did the butterflies go? where did the love go? these questions never leave my mind. where were you when i needed you the most? not by my side. it hurts to even breathe without you around. i just feel so lost. i hate this so much. i don’t know what to do with myself. it’s so hard even talking to shalmeen or your aunt. i hide how much i’m hurting by being mean to you because i don’t want to stress you out even more. i miss my second family.. i miss you. everyday is a struggle. i try to not bring your name up in conversation. even when i’m with guys i talk about you. i miss the days we used to spend with eachother. days i will never ever get back. what happened to my loving aaron? what happened to my sunshine, my baby? where did he go? i hate living without you. i don’t know what to do anymore. hurt hurt hurt. i still love you.
(via daniellemoore)
maggie kelly.
i don’t even know where to start. i miss you so fucking much maggie. everyday gets harder without you here. i adore you and honestly have always been jealous of you. you’re my best friend even a thousand miles away. you always know how to cheer me up and you are truly an amazing person and beautiful in every single way. i miss the fun nights we used to have and always being together. i miss walking to your house. i miss scaring the shit out of kieran with that chorus dress on and the cone head on. i miss dancing to bassnectar with you. i miss going to doug’s and being dumbasses. i miss going to cody’s and fucking with obey and getting yelled at. i miss watching cody play video games while me and you went outside to smoke cause it was “awkward” when we didn’t even have any cigarettes left. i miss going to walmart with you cody and matt listening to mumford. i miss everything. you showed me what a best friend is. i feel like you’re my other half and i never want to lose you. i love you so much maggie stay strong for me, miss you more than you know babygirl <3
thankyou for posting this. life’s been super shitty for me lately. i just need to get away somehow and see you and jillian and everone else i left behind. the number of days til i leave a note saying “fuck you peace” and leaving my phone and taking everything to nc are getting shorter. i miss getting fucked up in my garage and being assholes to m parents. i miss going to austin’s and laughing at kieran cause hes super wasted. i miss walking to your bus stop everyday waiting for you to get out of school. i miss the drives to doug’s house, when abby told me to break her oxy in have and it melted in my mouth and i got super fucked up. i miss everything about you. i miss going to value village and making my mom buy me ridiculous shit. ugh. you need to stay strong too beautiful. forget him. stick with da one you got right now.
p.s. i look flat chested and have the bone structure of a man in this picture. but that was a good night <3 i’ll see your beautiful face soon baby. wont be more than a month. promise.
that made me cry, i love you maggie.
(via chemicalnightmare)
maggie kelly.
i don’t even know where to start. i miss you so fucking much maggie. everyday gets harder without you here. i adore you and honestly have always been jealous of you. you’re my best friend even a thousand miles away. you always know how to cheer me up and you are truly an amazing person and beautiful in every single way. i miss the fun nights we used to have and always being together. i miss walking to your house. i miss scaring the shit out of kieran with that chorus dress on and the cone head on. i miss dancing to bassnectar with you. i miss going to doug’s and being dumbasses. i miss going to cody’s and fucking with obey and getting yelled at. i miss watching cody play video games while me and you went outside to smoke cause it was “awkward” when we didn’t even have any cigarettes left. i miss going to walmart with you cody and matt listening to mumford. i miss everything. you showed me what a best friend is. i feel like you’re my other half and i never want to lose you. i love you so much maggie stay strong for me, miss you more than you know babygirl <3
i’m so upset right now
i’m listening to hold on by rusko and it reminds me of me & aaron. you’ve been running through my mind all day. steal my sunshine was on in bri’s car and it reminds me of the first time we held hands. i was so scared that night. i miss those nights. when i was so scared to even make a move with you. those were the good days. that night you kissed me for the first time in the marathon parking lot. it all felt so right. the night at Nate bake’s when you ditched vayda for me and we both just gave each other that look. i will always remember that look. like we knew we were going to fall in love someday. you and her broke up a few weeks later and i comforted you. you told me you liked me since we met. i never expected that you’d ever like me. i looked up to you when we were best friends, i adored you so much and you were my favorite friend. i loved being around you. when i ran away from home and we sat on the corner of my street, smoking cigarettes and just talking about life. i will never forget those days. we were so close. when i got you cigarettes for your birthday and we were walking out and you said “i’d love to date you but you’re too tiny” or something like that. that basically crushed me. i remember the first person i told that i really liked you was vanner. i miss when we first started dating. do you remember how happy we were? we never yelled, only cried because we missed each other. i remember coming back from carl’s a week before i left from new york and you were driving and got all quiet and i looked over and you were crying, and i said “baby why are you crying?” and you said “because i’m going to miss you so much…” when i got back from new york you slept in your car because you didn’t have enough gas to go home then come back to see me the next day. you slept in the freezing cold just for me.. i remember we used to fool around in your car at the pool all the time. that was so much fun. i regret saying no the first time you asked me out. i didn’t want to hurt jared but i wanted you so bad. i felt so comfortable with you. i could tell you anything. you’d always listen. but one day that all stopped. our relationship flipped upside down. what happened to us? we started fighting non stop, we had more hate then love. we would be so mean to each other… do you know how much time we wasted? i will never regret anything with you ever. you made me who i am today. you made me the happiest girl in the world. you are my first love aaron. you’re the first person i ever truly loved. the first person to open my eyes. you were my first to make love to. you were my first everything. as our relationship progressed i got so fearful of you. you scared the hell out of me. i miss laying around when you got done with school watching everybody hates chris every night. i miss watching movies with you. i miss you being by my side. i miss when it was just me and you. i wish you were still here. we’ve had so many good times. i miss you so much you have absolutely no idea. i miss your kisses, i miss holding your hand, i miss you holding me, i miss having sex with you, i miss sleeping with you, i miss cuddling with you, i miss it al so much. i miss when we used to talk on the phone ALL the time, when that all stopped i felt so distant from you. our road trip to wilmington, god i miss that day so much. we had so much fun regardless if we got mad at each other. we mastered having sex while driving, and then you slept over. i miss taking showers with you, peeing together as gross as everyone thought it was, but that’s how close we were. i will never feel that with anyone else. i will never forget the nights we shared ever. i hope you’re reading this. i love you so much & i miss you so much. no one gives me the butterflies you do. i’m sorry for what i’ve done. please be safe and now you are forever in my heart. i love you so fucking much and miss you.
i’ve had a weird past few days
you need to stop yelling at me. i try and try and try, all i was trying to tell you is i’m going to be in california in june. you’re rude and ignorant, i love you but it’s too much.
i smoked k2 but only like two hits because how shitty it tastes. weed is so much better.
i’m going to dye my hair redder now then go to the mall with ethan, byeee.
the past two times i’ve been to new york before this time
i didn’t enjoy it and wanted to leave the whole time
and i was dating aaron
this time, me & him aren’t together, and i have had so much fun here. i guess i just hated being away from him.
hmm
